My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
