This is not my ceiling
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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