make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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