At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
