I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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