How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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