yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
