Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
