She said her name was "party"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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