she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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