just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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