my sisters under your porch take her home
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
