She's JV to your varsity
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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