those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Houston, we have a blender
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
