ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
