Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
