I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize