There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
