Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
