forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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