i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
