did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
