kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
