You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
not ubering you a puppy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
