Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
