He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
