Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
