i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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