I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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