My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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