hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
