My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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