You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
