well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
