They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
In America we eat man semen.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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