Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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