Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize