i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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