Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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