tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
