plz talk dirty to me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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