I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
