but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
