I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When are your genitals available?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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