it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
