Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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