I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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