the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize