you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
