Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
