don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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