is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As shirtless as possible
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
