sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
