I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
