matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
