I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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