my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
