I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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