question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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