ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
