well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
