she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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