ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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