All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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