in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
