I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
