Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
