have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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