i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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