this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
