Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
