obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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