You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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