Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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